Rebuilding Your Life:
Essential Steps After Divorce

Divorce is one of the most difficult events you will ever face in your life.

There’s emotional pain, the legal process to navigate, and the task of rebuilding your whole life to consider. But here’s the thing:

Millions of people have been through it before you and have made it to the other side.

The facts are…

The 43% of marriages end in divorce rate for 2024 shows you’re not alone in this experience. Studies show the average person recovers from the emotional divorce fallout in 1-2 years.

Life after divorce doesn’t have to be a train wreck. With the right approach, you can come out of it in better shape than you’ve ever known before.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• When to expect emotional recovery from divorce
• How to successfully plan and separate finances
• Steps to take on building your new life and identity
• Places to find professional help when you need it

When to Expect Emotional Recovery From Divorce

Let me tell you something most people don’t realize upfront…

Divorce recovery has a fairly consistent pattern. Once you know where you are in the process, you can have patience with yourself and make wise decisions.

Experts in the mental health field break the stages of divorce recovery into four main phases:

• The acute phase (1-6 months): This phase is characterized by all of your emotions being high and all over the place. You should avoid making any big life decisions during this period.
• The transition phase (6-12 months): This is when you start to feel more stable, but will still experience fluctuations of emotion.
• The rebuilding phase (1-2 years): At this point, you’re starting to create new life patterns and your identity will start to feel more concrete.
• The renewal phase (2+ years): Most people report feeling like they have fully “recovered” from divorce and have new life patterns in place.

The thing to remember is…

People with a history of depression have to take extra precautions in their recovery. Research has found that roughly 6 out of 10 people who have a prior diagnosis of major depressive disorder and go through a divorce will experience another depressive episode. But for people without a history of depression, divorce does not appear to increase the risk of depression.

How to Successfully Plan and Separate Finances

Financial issues are a top source of stress for individuals during the first few years of life after divorce.

But here’s the deal – Getting your finances in order is one of the most empowering things you can do. When you work with an experienced divorce lawyer in Little Rock, you should address some important priorities early to protect your stability and ensure a fair division of assets.

Let’s start by getting a full assessment:

• Gather documentation: Collect statements, accounts, credit reports, and information about any debts.
• Budget realistically: Take inventory of your expenses and project future post-divorce financial needs.
• Establish credit: If you have relied on joint accounts in the past, start building your own credit history.
• Update beneficiaries: Change beneficiaries on insurance policies and retirement accounts as needed.

Consider working with a financial planner that specializes in divorce. These pros can guide you through smart decisions on asset division.

The worst thing people can do in divorce?

Accept a settlement offer without fully understanding the financial consequences. Holding on to a big house sounds great, but can you afford the mortgage, taxes, and maintenance?

Steps to Take on Building Your New Life and Identity

Divorce forces you to rediscover your identity and purpose. This transition can be frightening, particularly if you have been married for many years. But remember that it’s also an opportunity for growth and reinvention.

Here are some first steps to take:

• Reconnect with old interests: What did you enjoy doing before marriage? Get back to those hobbies.
• Try new things: Take classes, join groups, or volunteer for activities you are passionate about.
• Set personal goals: What do you want to accomplish in your new freedom?

Building new social connections is also critical to recovery. Studies have consistently shown that social support makes all the difference in post-divorce outcomes.

How to build a new social circle?

• Support groups: These groups provide support and understanding, as well as practical advice.
• Reconnect with existing friendships: Call up old friends or family you may have lost touch with.
• Don’t rush dating: Most counselors agree that you should wait at least a year.

Be patient. It can take time to rebuild a new social circle, but remember that quality is better than quantity.

Places to Find Professional Help When You Need It

Nobody recovers from divorce completely alone. The right professional support can make all the difference in your outcomes and speed of recovery. Studies have found that individuals who engaged in divorce-focused therapy showed significantly better psychological adjustment after 6-12 months compared to individuals that went without professional support.

Here are the different types of professional help to consider:

• Divorce therapists: These therapists specialize in the recovery process and can provide targeted strategies.
• Financial advisors: Look for those with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFAs) designation that specialize in divorce.
• Legal professionals: Even if your divorce is “amicable”, it is important to work with a good attorney that protects your interests.

The important thing is not to wait until you feel like you are drowning before you seek out professional help. The sooner you put together a team of professionals, the smoother the transition will be.

Taking Care of Your Physical and Mental Health

It’s important to take care of your physical and mental health during this stressful time.

Divorce is hard on both your mind and body, but taking care of yourself isn’t being selfish – it’s necessary. Your physical and mental health is the foundation on which your recovery will be built.

Let’s start with these foundational health items:

• Exercise regularly: Physical activity releases endorphins and helps reduce stress.
• Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours per night to support emotional regulation and mental health.
• Nutrition: Eat healthy, don’t turn to food or alcohol to fill emotional holes.

What about mental health strategies that are proven to help?

• Mindfulness and meditation: Daily practice helps to reduce anxiety and promotes stability.
• Journaling: Writing out your feelings can be an excellent way to process and track your recovery.
• Practice gratitude: Focusing on the positive things in your new life can make a big difference.

Remember that healing is not linear. There will be good days and bad days. This is normal.

Moving Forward With Confidence

Rebuilding your life after divorce is hard work, but it’s also an opportunity.

You get to create a new life that is an expression of your values and goals. And you might discover that you are stronger and happier than you ever thought possible.

The secret is having a strategic approach:

• Take care of your emotional and physical health first
• Build a network of both professional and social support
• Make smart financial decisions with expert help
• Be patient with the process

Most importantly, this difficult chapter in your life does not have to define your story. With time, work, and the right support, you can build a fulfilling and happy life after divorce.

The Bottom Line

Divorce recovery is a process, not a one time event. It is one of life’s most challenging transitions, but also completely survivable. Most people find themselves on the other side and discover real growth and happiness.

Studies show that on average, the majority of people are able to successfully rebuild their life within 1-2 years. Follow the steps I have outlined for you based on research and proven success, and you will be one of those success stories.

Take it one day at a time, get the support you need, and be patient with yourself.